Insights Gained Through My Own Journey: Phase I -- A Trinitarian Encounter
As I reflect on my own spiritual journey, both personally and professionally, I begin to discern a number of legs or phases in my journey in which my faith, perspectives on ministry, and who I am as a person growing to fullness in Christ. So far my journey has three key phases related to my ministry journey and I sense I am on the cusp of entering into my fourth phase which is engaging me in a process such as this where I am giving voice to a different way to understand the ministry to which we as shepherds have been called.
Though all journeying involves formation, the first phase of my journey involves the beginnings of my being formed for ministry by encountering God's Trinitarian character.
Though I was raised in a conservative Baptist setting I did not have a transforming encounter with Christ until I was at the end of trying to be a good Christian. It was at the point that I came to discover that there was nothing I could do to gain God's favor that I first experienced Christ Jesus taking a hold of me, embracing me, accepting me and bringing me into relationship with himself. It was through this experience, and it was an experience that completely changed the direction of my life as I yielded my life to Christ's lordship, that I embarked on an intentional journey alongside of Christ.
Up to this point my Christian experience would have been best described by my trying to keep up with Christ -- every time I would fall on my face, in my looking up from the dust I would see Christ walking over the ridge of the next hill and I would need to try to run to catch up just to make my way with him -- it was a tiring journey. Once Christ embraced me and I rested in that embrace, when I fell down and looked up, Christ was there extending his hand to me, helping me to stand up so that we could walk together. This image has become a key metaphor for not only my spiritual journey, but for understanding the pastoral role.
Over the next ten years my journey with Christ engaged me in a Trinitarian encounter with God. At the beginning of my intentional journeying with Christ my life was opened to experiencing God in the person of the Holy Spirit. As I began worshiping with a charismatic community meeting in an Anglican church in Canada, I began to be embraced by the manifest presence of the Spirit within this community and became radically aware of the present working of the Spirit continuing the ministry of Christ on earth. Through these days and my college days, I discovered the presence of God's Spirit taking hold of me, forming me, shaping me, in order to be the person God has called me to be in the service of his mission on earth. It was during this time that I sensed God calling me to pastoral ministry.
In preparing for this calling I entered Fuller Theological Seminary in 1979 where in my first year I had a fresh encounter with Jesus Christ in a radically different way which reshaped the way I live out my life in the world. Up to this point I acknowledged and worship Jesus Christ as Lord in my life, but my devotion to him was not integral to guiding every aspect of my life. During my second or third quarter in seminary I was struggling with questions I did not have answers to. I was raised to believe that engaged Christians had a biblical response for every query, that our faith was carefully thought out to address the relevant issues. However as I encountered questions I did not have answers for my faith began to be shaken. It was at this time I encountered Jack Rodgers who provided a perspective that shifted my understanding of my faith as to where the foundation of my faith lay. He stated that as finite human beings there is always going to be someone smarter than us who will be able to shake us with a question which we are unable to answer or even have adequate categories for considering. Rather than the only response being to question our faith, we need to recognize that the faith system we have constructed is faulty and not where we are to place our trust. Rather the only place to put our trust is in the person of Jesus Christ. It is he who is the basis of our faith, not our faith systems. We are to put our trust in him, not in what we have been able to systematize through our belief. What I discovered in placing my faith, my trust in Christ alone for all of my life, was that I was able to begin asking and exploring questions I did not have the answers for. The reason this was liberating is because such questions caused me to dialogue more intensely with Christ the Lord and foundation of my life. I knew that in him all things hold together (Col. 1: 17) and so in him I have the freedom to explore those things that used to threaten my faith. This liberation enabled me to not be afraid to engage all of life and to explore all of life, not by myself, but in my relationship with Christ. In this Christological leg of my journey, Jesus was beginning to give me eyes to see life--its brokenness, as well as his activity of grace, hope and peace, through his eyes, his actions, as he embraced his Father's mission for restoring all humanity and all creation--missio Dei.
My encounter with the fatherhood of God became a part of my experience when I was pastoring in a United Methodist Church in Indiana. As I struggled with the debate that was being carried on at that time concerning inclusive language, not only in terms of male and female, but also how we talk about God--whether as he, she, or ?--I picked up Thomas Smail's short book entitled The Forgotten Father. As I read Smail's insights I began to see how the Father's love for humanity, for his creation prompted his mission here on earth. It became clear to me that Christ's own ministry was not his own, but that of his Father's as the gospel of John reveals so clearly when Jesus on numerous occasions expresses that he speaks what he hears his Father speaking and does what he sees his Father doing (cf. John 5:19-20, 7:16-17, 12:49-50, 14:24, etc). I came to realize that in our walking with Christ Jesus we are called to continue the ministry which he began in partnership with God the Father in bringing about his missional purpose, his telos. This opening of my eyes to the Fatherhood of God changed the way I viewed and engaged in ministry, for no longer was the ministry I was called to my ministry, but my obedience to partnering with Christ in serving the Father in accomplishing his purposes for the restoration of humanity and creation.
As I stated this first phase was the beginning of my ongoing encounter with the Trinitarian character of God, who has continued to take hold of me and shape me in being the person he is calling me to be as a member of Christ's community. Continually my openness to the presence of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit shapes not only how I am growing as a person, but shapes how I understand and live out the nature of my calling through pastoral ministry.
The next posting will reflect on my second phase which focuses more directly on ministry.
Though all journeying involves formation, the first phase of my journey involves the beginnings of my being formed for ministry by encountering God's Trinitarian character.
Though I was raised in a conservative Baptist setting I did not have a transforming encounter with Christ until I was at the end of trying to be a good Christian. It was at the point that I came to discover that there was nothing I could do to gain God's favor that I first experienced Christ Jesus taking a hold of me, embracing me, accepting me and bringing me into relationship with himself. It was through this experience, and it was an experience that completely changed the direction of my life as I yielded my life to Christ's lordship, that I embarked on an intentional journey alongside of Christ.
Up to this point my Christian experience would have been best described by my trying to keep up with Christ -- every time I would fall on my face, in my looking up from the dust I would see Christ walking over the ridge of the next hill and I would need to try to run to catch up just to make my way with him -- it was a tiring journey. Once Christ embraced me and I rested in that embrace, when I fell down and looked up, Christ was there extending his hand to me, helping me to stand up so that we could walk together. This image has become a key metaphor for not only my spiritual journey, but for understanding the pastoral role.
Over the next ten years my journey with Christ engaged me in a Trinitarian encounter with God. At the beginning of my intentional journeying with Christ my life was opened to experiencing God in the person of the Holy Spirit. As I began worshiping with a charismatic community meeting in an Anglican church in Canada, I began to be embraced by the manifest presence of the Spirit within this community and became radically aware of the present working of the Spirit continuing the ministry of Christ on earth. Through these days and my college days, I discovered the presence of God's Spirit taking hold of me, forming me, shaping me, in order to be the person God has called me to be in the service of his mission on earth. It was during this time that I sensed God calling me to pastoral ministry.
In preparing for this calling I entered Fuller Theological Seminary in 1979 where in my first year I had a fresh encounter with Jesus Christ in a radically different way which reshaped the way I live out my life in the world. Up to this point I acknowledged and worship Jesus Christ as Lord in my life, but my devotion to him was not integral to guiding every aspect of my life. During my second or third quarter in seminary I was struggling with questions I did not have answers to. I was raised to believe that engaged Christians had a biblical response for every query, that our faith was carefully thought out to address the relevant issues. However as I encountered questions I did not have answers for my faith began to be shaken. It was at this time I encountered Jack Rodgers who provided a perspective that shifted my understanding of my faith as to where the foundation of my faith lay. He stated that as finite human beings there is always going to be someone smarter than us who will be able to shake us with a question which we are unable to answer or even have adequate categories for considering. Rather than the only response being to question our faith, we need to recognize that the faith system we have constructed is faulty and not where we are to place our trust. Rather the only place to put our trust is in the person of Jesus Christ. It is he who is the basis of our faith, not our faith systems. We are to put our trust in him, not in what we have been able to systematize through our belief. What I discovered in placing my faith, my trust in Christ alone for all of my life, was that I was able to begin asking and exploring questions I did not have the answers for. The reason this was liberating is because such questions caused me to dialogue more intensely with Christ the Lord and foundation of my life. I knew that in him all things hold together (Col. 1: 17) and so in him I have the freedom to explore those things that used to threaten my faith. This liberation enabled me to not be afraid to engage all of life and to explore all of life, not by myself, but in my relationship with Christ. In this Christological leg of my journey, Jesus was beginning to give me eyes to see life--its brokenness, as well as his activity of grace, hope and peace, through his eyes, his actions, as he embraced his Father's mission for restoring all humanity and all creation--missio Dei.
My encounter with the fatherhood of God became a part of my experience when I was pastoring in a United Methodist Church in Indiana. As I struggled with the debate that was being carried on at that time concerning inclusive language, not only in terms of male and female, but also how we talk about God--whether as he, she, or ?--I picked up Thomas Smail's short book entitled The Forgotten Father. As I read Smail's insights I began to see how the Father's love for humanity, for his creation prompted his mission here on earth. It became clear to me that Christ's own ministry was not his own, but that of his Father's as the gospel of John reveals so clearly when Jesus on numerous occasions expresses that he speaks what he hears his Father speaking and does what he sees his Father doing (cf. John 5:19-20, 7:16-17, 12:49-50, 14:24, etc). I came to realize that in our walking with Christ Jesus we are called to continue the ministry which he began in partnership with God the Father in bringing about his missional purpose, his telos. This opening of my eyes to the Fatherhood of God changed the way I viewed and engaged in ministry, for no longer was the ministry I was called to my ministry, but my obedience to partnering with Christ in serving the Father in accomplishing his purposes for the restoration of humanity and creation.
As I stated this first phase was the beginning of my ongoing encounter with the Trinitarian character of God, who has continued to take hold of me and shape me in being the person he is calling me to be as a member of Christ's community. Continually my openness to the presence of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit shapes not only how I am growing as a person, but shapes how I understand and live out the nature of my calling through pastoral ministry.
The next posting will reflect on my second phase which focuses more directly on ministry.
posted by Roland G. Kuhl at 4:36 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home