Sabbatical Learnings -- 2 -- Dependency
This summer began with me learning some things about relying upon the sufficiency of God. Just this week however, I came face to face with reflecting upon the things I really depend upon to live out my life. Presently, I am an adjunct faculty member at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School teaching a course on campus and at the Madison Extension site. This week my computer crashed again. I bought a new one and it crashed too (have discovered it was an internet cable problem).
Well I went into class at Trinity again this week without my notes or my powerpoint for leading the class session. As I reflect upon this, I am realizing that I am dependent upon a lot of things that "hold" my life together. Just to name one: All my teaching notes from over the years are all in computers, disks, etc. Though I have hardcopies of all these that I keep in files (what I used when I was teaching those courses, etc), where I keep all my creative stuff, what I'm writing etc. is all in my computers. When I was on staff at Trinity or Northern, my stuff was all backed up on the school's servers -- but I don't have access to such servers now, except as I keep them backed up on my email accounts.
But this dependency on these things to "hold" my life together, I am discovering, stifles me. It keeps me from stepping out, it keeps me from engaging fully the adventure of life in the presence and power of the Spirit. Now I am not sure how "noteless" or "technology-free" I am willing to go, but I am trying to begin to realize that trusting in these things to "hold" my life together is only going to frustrate me.
Stuff happens in life where the things that "hold" me together crash -- and then what am I to do? Might it not be better for me to hang onto these things much more loosely and become much more dependent upon the One who is before all things and holds all things together (Col. 1: 17). So not only is Jesus Christ the sufficient one, he is also the one on whom I am to completely depend -- because it is in him that all things hold together.
There is a lesson in here for pastoral ministry. We try to orchestrate the way ministry occurs that we are in danger of orchestrating the Spirit of God out of what we do. We become dependent upon our abilities, our charisma, our passion, and/or the energy of others. You know all these things are going to "crash" at some point -- maybe even at a point when we are critically relying on them. What if we began each day -- reconfessing our complete dependency on Christ and the Spirit -- maybe the other stuff of life we will be able to hold onto loosely, so that we are free to live life and minister in ways in which the Spirit leads us. I can still learn to live life when the things I "hold" onto become undependable, in fact it can become downright adventurous, but I know that life is not able to be lived if I am not fully dependent upon the One who holds all things together.
Well I went into class at Trinity again this week without my notes or my powerpoint for leading the class session. As I reflect upon this, I am realizing that I am dependent upon a lot of things that "hold" my life together. Just to name one: All my teaching notes from over the years are all in computers, disks, etc. Though I have hardcopies of all these that I keep in files (what I used when I was teaching those courses, etc), where I keep all my creative stuff, what I'm writing etc. is all in my computers. When I was on staff at Trinity or Northern, my stuff was all backed up on the school's servers -- but I don't have access to such servers now, except as I keep them backed up on my email accounts.
But this dependency on these things to "hold" my life together, I am discovering, stifles me. It keeps me from stepping out, it keeps me from engaging fully the adventure of life in the presence and power of the Spirit. Now I am not sure how "noteless" or "technology-free" I am willing to go, but I am trying to begin to realize that trusting in these things to "hold" my life together is only going to frustrate me.
Stuff happens in life where the things that "hold" me together crash -- and then what am I to do? Might it not be better for me to hang onto these things much more loosely and become much more dependent upon the One who is before all things and holds all things together (Col. 1: 17). So not only is Jesus Christ the sufficient one, he is also the one on whom I am to completely depend -- because it is in him that all things hold together.
There is a lesson in here for pastoral ministry. We try to orchestrate the way ministry occurs that we are in danger of orchestrating the Spirit of God out of what we do. We become dependent upon our abilities, our charisma, our passion, and/or the energy of others. You know all these things are going to "crash" at some point -- maybe even at a point when we are critically relying on them. What if we began each day -- reconfessing our complete dependency on Christ and the Spirit -- maybe the other stuff of life we will be able to hold onto loosely, so that we are free to live life and minister in ways in which the Spirit leads us. I can still learn to live life when the things I "hold" onto become undependable, in fact it can become downright adventurous, but I know that life is not able to be lived if I am not fully dependent upon the One who holds all things together.
posted by Roland G. Kuhl at 12:28 PM
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