Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Journeying Can Be Scary At Times

Recently, I turned down a ministry opportunity that I had been hoping would shape the next phase of my life and ministry. It has been a process that has taken almost one year -- and to come to the realization that this would not be a moving forward for me, but a stepping back made this decision all the harder. It was a position that offered a modicum of financial security, but one thing I have come to realize in the past year is that life is not about financial security. Sometimes I hate being a "dreamer" -- and this year has been a year of dreaming what life yielded completely into the hands of God can be.

I admit it is scary at times -- this place of trusting God for my future. I don't understand it at times, and so I am sure others do not understand this at all. I don't have clarity about what my future looks like, no more 3, 5, 10 year plan, but there is also a peace. It is a peace that comes from sensing that I am in am journey in which God is leading me, a way of being in which I, as best I can, am following after Jesus Christ. I find that it is God's peace that encourages me to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and to be open to participate with the ongoing redemptive mission of God in the world through the opportunities he is presently opening to me. And so, I continue to develop my eyes to see where God is working and ears to hear what God is saying so that I can somehow participate in what God is doing -- I am open to that.

Last week I came across a poem I wrote in February 2006 which expressed the reason for my embarking on this adventure of leaving one position and taking a "sabbatical" to explore a new direction for life and ministry. Here it is:

Life!
Full of passion, full of purpose
Embracing, involving all that I am
Focused, directed, seeking
Everything that I have been called to be.
Can life be lived within a box?
A quart of soil to bed my roots?
Windowless walls to set my gaze?
Folded flaps to hide the stars?
Can lilies of the field flourish in garden plots?
Can sparrows be held in fenced in yards?
Roots matted, tangled in potted soil
Seek soil that enables limitless reach
Life, hindered, constrained, boxed in
Seeks horizons that are beyond the sun
Life
That I am created, called to live
Seeks first the horizonless, limitless
Reign of God.
by Roland G. Kuhl
Copyright 2007

2 Comments:

Blogger wAv said...

Roland, it is scary. I haven't been by for a while and I am glad I checked. So a lot has changed. Drop me a note would you?

8:21 PM  
Blogger Curt Knapp said...

Roland, I haven't heard from you about the fall coarse. I will be meeting with people from Rock River Christian College on Thursday morning. Please email me your status regarding that before then. Hope your summer is off to a great start. God bless, Curt

1:40 PM  

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